Blazin' Buffalo & Ranch Doritos

Reviewed by Britt-Lee Hood
October 24, 2006

Manufacturer: Frito-Lay Website: Click Here Review Rating: 0 out of 10

Like the taste of a nice, hot serving of spicy buffalo wings? Are you one of those who enjoy their spicy wings with ranch? Well, I myself happen to be one of those people. And the other night when I was walking through the grocery store, I happened to lay eyes upon a new flavor of Doritos Brand Chips. Blazin' Buffalo and Ranch!

When I guess, I usually set myself up for one big downfall. I took a chip out of the bag, my eyes oh-so-full of hope that it might taste good, and as soon as I popped it into my mouth, my hopes fell faster than the stock market during the Great Depression.

I like Buffalo Wings, I like Ranch, I like them both when they're together. But in all honesty, whoever came up with the brilliant idea that compressing them into a starchy orange powder and slapping it onto a tortilla chip should be fired.

Doritos used to be such a reliable company with such good snacks! But now, despite their past, they have fallen under the possession of some insane snack demon. A snack demon, who – in fact – believes in destroying all that is good about Doritos brand chips. Granted, some of the past flavors have been decent, maybe the demon was being kind to us all. Who knows? All that is apparent now is that the snack demon is hell-bent on destruction. Destruction of what you might ask? Why, your stomach lining, your intestines and the very fabric of human existence! Well, maybe not human existence, but your stomach lining? Yeah, say goodbye to that.

I would sooner lick the sole of a cowboy's boot after a day in the fields than would recommend that another human being consume these dreadful tortilla triangles of intestinal doom.